On Turning 40…

Here we go. Here is yet another post about turning 40. The Internet is inundated with them I know, but since I started this journey a little over a year ago in an attempt to better myself by this day, I felt I had to write something.

I haven’t written in awhile, mostly because I haven’t had anything to say. I never wanted my blog to be random thoughts or tidbits. It was supposed to help me change my life, one habit at a time and to help me be accountable. For the most part, it succeeded as such.

I now regularly drink more water and step on the scale less often. I am not glued to my cell phone. I try not to take the actions of others to heart. I haven’t lost my keys or wallet in a long time (my iPod is another story however, I just offered my children 2 dollars to find it for me).  Overall, my attempt to gain greater control over my life was largely successful. I still don’t make it to yoga and my inbox still has 3000 messages in it, but I wasn’t going to master all of my goals, and I knew that going in.

What I found through the process is that by de-cluttering my brain of these random thoughts and by taking control of certain aspects of my life, I found more time to do other things. Those things varied from reading more books, to organizing my drawers and making homemade Christmas presents but generally, I don’t feel like I am always trying to play catch-up anymore and that made the whole project worthwhile.

But now the year is over. I turned 40 today. Now what? Well, I don’t want to stop evolving and growing as a person so I have spent some time thinking about what I would like to focus on in the coming year. I have decided that my main goal is to be more present and grateful for the life I am so lucky to have. I like to think that I am generally living my life with gratitude, but I would like to work on this in the coming year. It is so easy to get caught up in the small stressors in life and to forget that in the long run, the little things don’t matter.

I thought about this as we drove home from a ski trip last week. The boys, now almost 7 and 9, were giggling in the back and my husband and I are were drinking hot tea from a thermos I had packed after having had a fun day on the slopes. There was this moment where I realized that we were at the “sweet spot”. For years I was trying to get somewhere. At first it was to graduate and finish my education. Then it was all about the struggle with infertility and having a family and finally it was to establish and run a successful practice. Now, I can look at my family, my clinic and my life and say that I have accomplished the things that matter most to me, at least for now.

I want to enjoy these things and be thankful for them. My boys are at the age where they are old enough to get their own breakfast and let mom and dad sleep in, but still young enough that they think we are pretty cool and fun to hang out with. That is not going to last forever and I want to enjoy these years before friends, girlfriends and sports become a more prominent fixture in their lives. These are the years where I am starting to realize that all the hard work was worth it and if I don’t start enjoying it, it will soon be in the past.

So for the next year, I want to be more present for those moments in the car. I may start a gratitude jar so that I can remember the highlights of this year but mostly I want to make sure that I appreciate the moments that will end up being my fondest memories in my old age.

Wishing you an abundance of good memories in the year ahead.